Woo Hoo!

The new anti-inflammatory is kicking in! Typically, my knee hurts quite a bit the day after physical therapy and yesterday, it was fine. That's a good reason for a "woo hoo!" Don't you agree?

A Little Swim

I finally made it to the pool today. I tweaked my knee Thursday night by accidentally stepping up onto the curb with my left leg. Oops. I took it really easy Friday and Saturday and thought today would be a good day to try a swim. Since I had put my gym membership on hold until May (I didn't expect my doctor to tell me to start swimming quite yet), I was prepared to pay the drop-in fee to get into my fitness center. Luckily, the guys at the front desk were sympathetic and let me right through with a finger to their lips... shhh... ; )

I'm not going to tell you I was excited about swimming. OK, maybe a teeny bit in the back of my mind, but mostly I was worried. Since my knee seems so sensitive these days I wasn't sure if swimming would feel good or not. It was sunny but windy on the rooftop pool at Bakar Fitness Center. I decided to sit in a chair for a few minutes and observe the lap swimmers before I chose what lane I wanted to jump into. I was happy that someone finished up and got out of the slowest swim lane so I would not feel as if I was getting in a faster swimmers way. Once I got in I glanced at the recommendations my physical therapist, Alex, gave me on pool exercise. I figured, if anything, I could use a pool buoy (photo below) and swim without kicking. Alex said I could try water walking, side steps, squats and leg lifts in the water. The pool at Bakar is perfect since there is no deep end and as long as you are about 5' 2" tall, you can walk from one end to the other.

Off I went, using the pool buoy first and just swam with my arms. I swam 3-4 laps and already felt winded. Whew... I remembered in the past that it didn't take too long to get used to the side-to-side breathing while doing laps so I kept on going. After a few more laps I tossed the buoy up on the side of the pool and tried regular freestyle swimming. I can't say it felt great. I kept repeating to myself, "kick from the hips, kick from the hips," trying not to bend my knees too much. It was slow, but I was swimming. I also took some turns at walking up and down the lane (it felt kind of strange pushing against the water so I only did about 4 laps of water walking), calf raises, and leg lifts. I rotated between all of these options, doing the most laps with the pool buoy, and stayed in the water for a half an hour total.

So you're wondering how my knee is feeling now, right? Well... so far, so good. That's all I can say. There is always the possibility of delayed pain tomorrow. Dr. Dye says it can take 12 - 24 hours for the pain to register knee-to-brain. I can say it was nice to be outside getting a little exercise and I hope I'll be able to continue without another setback. I wonder if my arms will be sore at all tomorrow? I kind of hope so. That would be a good kind of pain. : )

Roller Coaster of Emotions

I'm up, I'm down, back up again... down... when will it stop?! The last several days proved to be a roller coaster of emotions and you know what? I'm ready to get off the ride! Friday night, my knee hurt. I laid low on Saturday, really just hung out, watched TV or read. My knee felt better by Saturday night and I was determined to finally go to church and see my friends on Sunday. My friend Sarah picked me up and we carpooled the short ride over to City Church. It was a typical service and I was glad the standing up and sitting down ritual was fair and there wasn't too much of either to make my knee hurt. What I've found is that when I stand, I put more weight on my right leg than the left leg with the bad knee. After standing for some time, my right leg gets tired of holding up everything and I have to sit down. Luckily, it was OK this Sunday. After church, Sarah and I decided to enjoy the Bay Area sunshine and skip the crowds of the city. We drove over the majestic Golden Gate Bridge and had lunch at Pacific Catch in Corte Madera. I would have liked to have done some shopping, but trying to use my best judgement against walking around too much, I decided it was best to go home by 3:00 PM. On the way home I snapped a photo of this cute little pooch clearly enjoying the sunshine and warm air as well! Look closely, he's there.

This morning I had an 8:30 AM follow-up appointment with Dr. Dye. At first, I wasn't sure what I was going to say. My knee was definitely feeling better, but I was concerned whether it was normal to have my knee hurt after each PT session. I decided, as usual, I needed to tell him everything. I made sure to tell Dr. Dye that I still cannot do straight leg raises (ouch) and that I still carry my crutches around for back-up. Dr. Dye listened, took all of this in, then repeated how long the recovery process is, 1 to 1.5 years, blah, blah, blah.... He asked what I am taking for pain and I told him I was taking the Advil Liqui-Gels he had requested I start a month ago. He said he wants me to try something stronger so he gave me a prescription for a stronger anti-inflammatory, Proxicam. The really interesting thing was that Dr. Dye wants me to start swimming. He wants me in the pool 3x a week and I'll have to decide how long I can swim. I'll have to see how my knee feels after a short swim and go from there. He would like to see how my knee responds to non-weight bearing exercise and hopes it will improve my range of motion. He's going to monitor me very closely and asked me to come back to see him in 2 weeks. I picked up the new prescription after work today and we'll see how it goes!

Overall, I'm feeling better today, but as stated, am growing weary of the roller coaster. It's hard for me to keep it all together and feel like eventually it's all going to be OK when my health is at stake. Again, patience... hopefully, the highs and lows will all even themselves out soon for a nice, content way of being. No more "E" tickets for me! Ooh, that was a pun in more than one way!

I'm So Sad

I went to physical therapy for the first time in 3 weeks on Thursday evening. Now my knee hurts again. : ( I don't know what to do anymore. I try so hard to be careful and not do too much, I really do. My friends, family, and even coworkers give me a look sometimes as if they know me and that I've probably doubled up my PT exercises since I'm perceived as the type to over do it. The honest truth is I don't. I have to confess, I don't do my PT exercises as much as I should. I'm always scared my knee will start to hurt, like it does tonight. I lie on my couch most of the time and only go out to run errands when I must. Lately, I've tried to see my parents and some friends a little more and until yesterday I was sure I was going to be able to be a little more social. Since my knee surgery in February, I've seen way too much of the inside of my apartment. Believe me, it's bleak.

Earlier this week, I really thought my knee had started to turn a corner. I was afraid to write this in my blog, I guess I didn't want to jinx it. My knee felt much better than the week before, even stronger. I actually walked to and from my car  into the office a few days. I brought my crutches in for backup, but didn't need them. There was no delayed pain the first or second day after, it was progress! That all changed after my PT appointment Thursday after work. Thing is, my physical therapist Alex tries to be so careful! We have such a hard time finding exercises that don't irritate my knee. The exercises I can do are very, very mild and I never do more at home than what she tells me to do. As I mentioned, most of the time, I do less. My only guess at the cause for my knee pain today was that some of the exercises we tested and ruled out from doing regularly really must have upset my knee. Who knows, maybe even some that felt fine at the time caused delayed pain. I'm so sad. It's hard to imagine at this point that my knee will ever recover.

I happen to have a follow-up appointment with Dr. Dye on Monday morning. I'm sure he will tell me, as usual, that what I am experiencing is not uncommon. He'll say that again, tell me to do everything I can to stay within my "envelope of function" and send me on my way. I'll just have to be patient. I've been patient for over 3 years now! I hope I made the right decision to have this second knee scope, I really do. There is nothing I can change about that now so tonight is another one of those nights where I'm going to cry and cry and let it all out. Hopefully, tomorrow my knee will feel better and my outlook will be a little brighter.

Top 10 Positive Reasons for My Knee Injury

Alright, it's time for a little fun! I was playing around the other day on my iPhone and realized I had made some notes months ago about my knee injury. It must have been a rough day since it seemed as if I was just trying to pull some (believe it or not) good things out of my knee misery over the past 3 years. Some of my notes actually made me laugh. I added a few things and they now have become my "Top 10 Positive Reasons for My Knee Injury." Enjoy.

10) I will have saved myself from other potential painful injuries during this time off from endurance sports. Stress fractures, road rash, and anything ending with "-itis" anyone?
9) Mom and Dad taking care of me during my recovery from two knee surgeries. TLC and home cooked meals, yum!
8) I have time to wait for the next generation Garmin GPS runners watch to come along. The current versions are bulky and very large on my small wrist.
7) I won't have worn out my Boston Marathon 2006 swag nearly as quickly as if I was actually wearing it while working out. My tops and shorts will seem like new, even when they are 4 or 5 years old!
6) Hanging out with my friends I lost touch with while constantly training for races.
5) I never really had the desire to qualify for the Hawaii Ironman, but since the age categories get less competitive as you grow older (I think). Maybe I'll have a shot when I'm in my 50's or beyond!

4) My boss arranged for special parking for me at work. Shhh... don't tell, it's not typically allowed. I am very grateful she was able to do this for me, it has really helped my recovery from surgery.
3) I really didn't like that "GU" stuff anyway.
2) Cute. Single. Doctors. I haven't met any yet, but there is always the possibility. : )
1) Sleeping in on Saturday mornings!!!

Wordless Wednesday: Current Range of Motion

So Tired and More Slow Healing

I can't figure out why I've been so tired lately. I shouldn't even use the word "lately." I've been tired for months now. Is all my energy going to heal my knee? Maybe it's just that I'm so out of shape. I remember during my training days that I used to feel much more rested even after less sleep than I'm getting right now. I feel so exhausted each day. My alarm goes off in the morning and I push snooze again and again... It's not that I dread going to work. I love my job, that's not an issue. Hmm... I'm just not sure.

Today I postponed my set physical therapy appointment to next week. It's been two weeks since my last session, but I've felt no improvement in my knee. I don't see the point of Alex giving me any new exercises when I cannot master the ones I already have on my list. My knee hurt more than usual this past weekend, so I've even slowed down the mild exercises I was doing. I sent Dr. Dye an email today since Alex seemed to think I should be more concerned about my slow healing process. It's not that I wasn't concerned, I've simply hit a limit to my amount of worrying. I'm tired of worrying about my knee. I've been concerned for over 3 years. It's really getting old! I feel as if I am doing so little in terms of activity post-surgery that there is not much less I can do. In time, my knee will feel better I know it. It's just taking much more time to get back to basic every day stuff than I hoped.

I continue to be impressed with Dr. Dye's response time to my messages. The guy must do nothing other than work. Seriously. If I'm correct he's in Japan right now lecturing on his research. I wrote him a message today late morning and he got back to me this afternoon! Dedication, I tell you. He told me my slow progress is not all that uncommon and some patients have a rough start the first few months after surgery. He reminded me of the 1 1/2 years predicted for full healing. I knew that time frame and thought I was OK with it. Now I'm grasping that maybe I didn't have a realistic view of what 1 1/2 years actually meant, especially the first few months. After my last knee scope, I was off crutches after less than two weeks. I didn't think it would be much different this time around. I was so wrong! It's now becoming more clear that even though Dr. Dye told me this surgery was "gentle," it really did upset the nerves and sensitivity in my knee. Each person's biology reacts differently. I'm definitely the sensitive type. Probably in more ways than one! I just can't believe I'm still dragging my darn crutches around! Dr. Dye said I have to find the right alchemy of rest, icing and activity, but made sure to mention I am approaching this in the right way. Thanks Dr. Dye! All I can say is, I'm trying my best. No, I am not using my crutches for each step, but I'm trying to find a balance so I can at least get my own cup of coffee in the morning. I think that's the hardest part. It's so difficult to carry anything dealing with on crutches! Patience is key here... Thanks for listening. : )

First Bill

This week I received the first bill from my knee surgery. It's a small one and, obviously, there will be more to come. I just thought it was funny that it was only for $11.42, a small check to write. Also, I'm sorry it's so blurry! I drank a little too much coffee this morning. : )

Happy Feet

Yesterday I just had to wear my flip flops! It was a sunny day and I was hearing of pending colder weather later in the week. I got a pedicure on Sunday afternoon and I wanted to show off my pink toes before it's back to closed-toe shoe time again. Right before I left my apartment this morning, I turned back and grabbed some light sneakers, just in case I needed them.

I was glad I did! I only wore my flip flops half the day. My knee didn't start to hurt, but around lunchtime I decided I had enough of my tootsies. Sandals are cute, but for the most part, they don't have any foot support. I honestly wonder if heels would feel better than completely flat shoes! I probably won't be testing that out for a while so for now, I'll stick to sneakers or comfortable flats. I want to keep my feet happy as well as everything else. :)