Sunday, April 27, 2008

Home Sweet Home

Yesterday I drove home to Lafayette to spend a little time with my parents. Initially, I thought I would arrive around 4:00 PM in time to chat a little and then stay for dinner. As I got up in the morning I knew I wanted to fit in an hour long walk. It came to mind that I should drive out to Lafayette early and get my walk done there. It had been some time since I had been on "the trail," as we call it. The trail is the Lafayette-Moraga Regional Trail. It's about 7.5 miles long starting at Olympic Blvd in Lafayette, continuing along St. Mary's Road in Moraga. I don't know how long it has been in existence, but it has been there as long as I can remember. My first memories of the trail go way back. My parents were big into running from the time I was 8 or 9 years old, into my mid teens. They would run the trail all the time. In 7th grade, my sister and I used to ride our bikes from home, down Pleasant Hill Road, to Stanley Junior High School, which was just past the one mile marker on the trail. I was introduced to running on the trail in 8th grade. Mr. Boucher, my 8th grade science teacher, led us on trail runs as the Stanley Junior High School cross-country team. It was not much of a "team" really, other than participating in after school sports. I switched over to cross-country after being smacked incredibly hard in the face with a soccer ball on the first day of soccer season. Yup, that's all it took, I wasn't aggressive enough for soccer anyway. Mr. Boucher challenged us to running around 5 miles each day after school. I remember running comfortably, usually chatting with a classmate along the way. I was not a competitive runner at that time in any way, shape, or form. It was something to do to gain points for my block "S." 

I've always loved the trail, it just feels like home to me. It's so peaceful and pleasant walking or running on the trail. There are a lot of cyclists as well these days. I've driven to the trail to run it or walk it many times since moving back to the Bay Area. The same houses are still there, Stanley Junior High is still there, although beautifully renovated and little like the school I attended. Those trail mile-markers get repainted from time to time. Someone must have remeasured the distance over the years, since the mile-markers aren't quite in the same spots I remember from my childhood. Yesterday was about 85 degrees, bright and sunny. Hot, but not too hot, I thought. I sprayed on the sunblock and had a very enjoyable 4 mile walk which took me a little over an hour. I have to admit, I ran for a few minutes at the end. I had to. I was keeping to the dirt path the whole walk, just along side of the paved trail, to stay on a softer surface. Near the end of the trail, I decided I needed to test out my Nike Free shoes outside of walking. Hey, it wasn't any further than running to the bus stop! Well, that is how I justified it anyway... I got to the end of the trail, turned around and ran back 100 yards, then turned around again. This happened a couple of times and I decided it was probably best to stop. One of the nicest things about my walk was just being outside! I realized how few hot, sunny days we get in the city. I love SF, but I appreciated the 'burbs of the East Bay so much yesterday. The sights and the smells are so comforting and familiar. It's just home sweet home. : )

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Boston

Tuesday night I watched the 2008 Boston Marathon I had recorded on my TiVo. The race was the previous day, Monday, April 21. Watching the race brought back a lot of memories, both good and bad. I recalled how devastating my knee injury was 5 weeks before the 2006 Boston Marathon. In my short running career, once I realized I could possibly be fast enough to qualify, that marathon became a huge goal for me. My knee ached the whole time I was watching Monday's race on TV. Those elite runners are so strong and incredibly fast! I'm convinced my knee *ache* wasn't from my trainer ride a few days before, but me reliving the memory the marathon in 2006. I remember having trouble keeping my emotions in check as I arrived in Boston a day before the race. I even sat down on the floor of the race expo (where you pick up your race bib and t-shirt) and cried. I was scared my knee would hurt so much that I wouldn't be able to finish the race. As someone who had never broken a bone or even sprained an ankle, it was a tough time for me emotionally and physically.

When I ran the marathon the first half was better than I expected. Then, from about mile 16 on, I was in a great deal of pain. Imagine the feeling of the bones in your knee grinding together. Yeah... ouch, that is the only way I can describe it. At about 22 miles, I put my head down and pushed through with no water stops (it hurt even more to slow down and start up again). I was grateful for help from the cheering crowds, other supportive runners (I wasn't the only person in pain), and finished the race. Whew, what a relief! I hoped I hadn't damaged my knee forever. The truth is, I'll never really know if I made my knee worse by running the marathon or not. The damage was probably already done when my knee started hurting in training. All I know is that I don't have any regrets. If it were any other race than Boston I would not have toed up to the starting line. I was running the Boston Marathon and that was all there was to it. I thought I might not have the chance to qualify again and this could be my only opportunity to run the race. I was running it, no matter what anyone said.

I will always be proud of myself that I qualified, ran, and finished the Boston Marathon. Even through the knee pain, it's one of those special life experiences that no one can take away from me. Would I like to run it again? Yes! Of course I would, but only as a healthy and strong runner. If that opportunity ever presents itself again, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. For now, I have my memories and a nice souvenir.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

A Sore Knee

For those of you who may not know, the reason why I started this blog was to chronicle my recovery after knee surgery on July 5, 2007. My friends and family know how important running and triathlon training was to me and how devastating my knee injury has been. I would get questions all the time, "How is your knee?" or "Are you running yet?" I felt bad that I would either ramble on and on about my frustration or I couldn't really answer the question. I decided to start a blog my friends and family could reference if they chose to do so. It has ended up being a wonderful way for me to journal my experience and throw in other happenings in my life. As I mentioned early on, I knew the blog was probably more for me than anyone else. At the time I started the blog I never thought it would take so long for my knee to heal. I was sure I would be off and running within a matter of months. My knee pain has been one of the biggest frustrations of my life so far and there are days I have my own little pity party. That said, over the last two years I have been trying hard to put things into perspective. Outside of my knee injury, I am very healthy. I have a great job and my friends and family are happy and healthy as well. I am grateful for this and it is mentioned in my prayers every day.

Still, my frustration gets the best of me sometimes and the disappointment can be almost unbearable. My knee pain is still such a mystery! My knee scope (arthroscopic surgery) ruled out several common knee injuries which was good and bad. There was no torn meniscus, no ACL tear... good. But, on the bad side, there was no obvious reason for what was causing the pain. That is why they call it "anterior knee pain" or a type of "syndrome." The most my doctors could tell me was that it was an overuse injury and their guesses were that I have either Patellofemoral Syndrome (when the kneecap tracking is off in the femoral groove) or Hoffa's Syndrome (inflammation of the fat pad), maybe both. I may never know for sure. I'm continuing to try to be patient and let my knee heal and the aggravated nerves settle down. All I want to do is be able to exercise like a normal person again.

The latest... On Sunday I rode for 30 minutes on my trainer. My trainer is my road bike locked onto a base that makes it a stationary bike. 25 minute rides had been going well for more than two weeks, so I decided to add 5 more minutes. This is the direction I was given by my physical therapist. Yesterday that achy/burning sensation I get when I do too much returned. Ugh! I'm keeping in mind what the author of the book I read recently (Brain Training) said. He went through a similar injury and it took him 3 years from the onset of his injury (he was training for Boston too!) until he could run a marathon again. Some days were two steps forward and then another day, one step back. That is exactly what I'm going through. I can only hope with my continued patience, that my activity will slowly increase and eventually I will be able to get back to regular exercise. Of course, I would love to run races and train for triathlons again, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it. Hopefully, it will be sooner than later!

Friday, April 18, 2008

My Coffee Fix

I have a hard time remembering when I didn't drink coffee on a regular basis. The truth is it's only been since I moved back to San Francisco that I have been a regular coffee drinker. It's most likely because there is a coffee shop of some kind on almost every corner in this city! Even though I drink coffee most days, I'm pretty sure it's not an addiction for me. Well... OK, I admit, I don't understand decaffeinated coffee. What's the point? ; ) I feel that coffee is more of a habit than anything else, something I sip slowly through the morning.

I was quite excited to get my Midwest coffee fix this week. I went to Minneapolis for a few days to print some of our May in-store signage. My favorite coffee shop in the Twin Cities is Caribou Coffee. There is a shop near my hotel and if I have time in the morning, I try to walk over and grab a cup. Sometimes, I bring my computer and try to get some work done before my print sales reps need me at the plant on press. I'm not sure if it's the coffee beans at Caribou or the way the barista whips up my Vanilla Latte with 2% milk, but it's SO good! This trip I picked up some coffee beans to grind and brew at home. I only recently started to make coffee at home in the morning. Mostly, it's on the weekend so I can relax and enjoy a leisurely cup or two of coffee, sugar, and a little half & half. I decided to start brewing at home by purchasing the Caribou Blend which is on the lighter side of their "darker blends." If it's a little too dark, I'll try something lighter next time. I admit, I tend to add a little coffee to my milk, not the other way around. Cheers!
"Life Is Short. Stay Awake For It."
- Caribou Coffee

Monday, April 14, 2008

A Nice Day - Part II

So the rest of my Sunday was nice. After my morning trainer ride, I headed off to church. This Sunday they had a special string quartet performing a four part piece commissioned by City Church. It's always enjoyable to listen to new music. After church, I headed straight to Foreign Cinema, a restaurant in the Mission District of SF for my friend Anna's baby shower. Anna is a friend of mine from my PacWest Athletics days and she is such a cute pregnant lady! Little Braydon Richard is due on May 13. Per Anna, he already has more clothes than she does! I'm looking forward to meeting him soon. : )

The weather in SF was gorgeous this weekend! Finally... It was 77 degrees in the city. People were flocking to the parks, enjoying the rare sun this time of year. I love SF and it is an incredibly beautiful place, but it can get chilly! It was nice to have some warm, spring weather. My Sunday ended with me running a few errands and heading back to my apartment for cleaning and laundry. I know, it doesn't sound glamorous, but overall it was a really nice day! Sun and friends make me happy.

BTW, I woke up this morning and my knee felt fine. Yay. Oh, and the ON sign is being fixed tomorrow morning. Phew...

Sunday, April 13, 2008

A Nice Day - Part I

It's been a nice Sunday. I woke up early this morning, for a Sunday, and completed a 25 minute ride on my trainer. It felt fine, but the reality of a workout usually doesn't become clear to me until 24 hours later. My knee often shows a delayed reaction. Hopefully, it will be fine tomorrow.

As for being accountable to my workouts this week, I completed all but one. Swimming was the only exercise I didn't get to in my plans. I rode my bike on my trainer twice, and walked three times. The week was tough, I have to admit. My knee bothered be a bit towards the end of the week and I kept thinking, "Why? I haven't done all that much more than I usually do." Now yes, I had added in the trainer rides, but last week I did those at the beginning of the week. I realized it could have been stress. My physical therapist friend mentioned that my knee could be more sensitive to stress now than before my injury. Interesting. It was a very stressful week. First, my boss unfortunately experienced a terrible bout of food poisoning. I felt so badly for her, it sounded awful. Both she and I had a lot going on this week, so a took on some of her projects as well. I admit, I had a moment (or two) of panic, then I settled in and got everything I could done. Second, I had a big presentation on Friday. It was on my trip to test window displays in our new store in Florida. The presentation took some planning and practice through the week. I was happy and relieved when it was over Friday afternoon and I was told the presentation was good. For those of you that may not know, public speaking is not my forte so the compliments were much appreciated. Whew...

Here is a photo of how my day ended on Friday. After waiting for a Muni train, which rode on by and did not stop because it was full, I decided to walk to downtown. I remembered that the new Old Navy logo sign should have been posted that day at the Gap Inc. headquarters building on 2 Folsom. The window bays on the Spear Street side of the building contain current Old Navy images with a logo sign hanging in the center window. I thought, "Great! I'll swing by and take a look." I walked up to the window and sighed... oh no! The center of the "O" of the "ON" letters in our new logo had fallen to the floor of the window bay! I called my vendor that produced the sign right away. Actually, I sent him this photo I took on my camera phone with the word "Help," then he called me back. He told me the blue letters were supposed to be applied to the white background with a strong, permanent glue. I told him as I peered through the window that the circle from the middle of the "O" looked like it had tape on the back. Tape! Not good. He was upset about it too and promised to make it right on Monday. I will be calling corporate operations at Gap Inc. tomorrow morning to either find a temporary solve to the broken sign or have them take it down altogether. So frustrating! I had been working on getting that sign completed for some time and was happy to finally get the old logo (the ellipse, if you remember) removed from the window. Hopefully, the sign will be fixed quickly.

As you may guess, I was glad it was the weekend.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

In My Dreams

I had yet another running dream last night. It's interesting because they seem to be progressing, not just random dreams of running. I'm not exactly a person that analyzes dreams or believes them to be some great insight into my psyche, but I have been surprised that the running dreams I have been experiencing since my surgery have slowly built upon each other as my knee has healed and time has gone by.

If you have read previously in my blog you know that not long after my surgery I had a few dreams were I had entered running races. I'm not entirely sure how long those races were supposed to be, but they usually involved me being excited about getting to the starting line, but feeling guilty that I was there. It was not time for me to run. I typically woke up before the race started or shortly after the start gun went off. I guess the guilt was too much. The last dream I had was of me running a 10K race and I actually ran, feeling pretty good. I don't recall if I crossed a finish line or not, but I woke up with the feeling I had run most of the race if not all of it.

Last night I ran a marathon, sort of. It was a marathon, but for some reason I had entered the race to intentionally run half of it. I don't know why I didn't just run a set half-marathon, but it was a dream and who knows why some things happen. I remember that I was following a friend knowing she was running the whole race and I wasn't. That was OK, maybe she kept me at a comfortable pace. There was small amount of "guilt" there, but only that I was worried I hadn't run that far in a long time and wasn't sure if my knee would be alright. The feeling when I was running was really good. I had a bouncy, happy gait and I remember I got to the 13.1 mile point and felt great, I stopped and felt really accomplished. My knee didn't bother me at all so it was a very good dream.

So maybe, just maybe, these dreams are signs that I'm going to get out there and be OK. Signs that I am ready to push myself a little harder. As always, I'll keep ya posted (no pun intended).

Friday, April 4, 2008

I Just Want to Run

Some of you may be asking, "What's up with Ali's knee? She hasn't mentioned it lately." No, I haven't. Don't worry, it's not because my knee is hurting or anything like that. I've realized lately that I'm afraid. I'm afraid to step up the pace and really test out my knee. I'm afraid it is going to hurt and there isn't really a light at the end of this tunnel. I have also realized all I want to do is run. I don't want to get on my bike that is latched onto the stationary trainer in the middle of my studio apt. I don't want to swim. I don't want to try out "running" on the elliptical machine. Ugh, it all seems so tedious. Again, don't worry... I'm not going to lace up my running shoes and run out of my apartment door tomorrow morning. That sounds great, but I'm sure in the end that would be a dumb thing to do. Still, it's dawned on me that besides being scared, I've also been a little bit lazy lately. I don't have my teammates to push me to be at a workout anymore and most people I know now, don't even know me as a runner. I don't get questions such as, "What race are you training for next?" People used to ask me that all the time. I have to admit, I am not unhappy with my life now, I've grown into it for sure and there are benefits to not being training obsessed. That is the honest truth. But, I do want some of my former life back. Hmm... being in shape would be good!

Enough of the fear and laziness! So who's going to hold me accountable? I was sick this last week, but that is the last of my excuses. It's time to see what this knee can do! Within reason, of course, and implementing a gradual build-up of exercise besides the basic walking I have been doing for the last two months. I'll plan on walking two times next week and how about two trainer rides, 20 to 25 minutes each? Then, one 30 minute swim towards the end of the week. How does that sound? The week of April 14 I'm traveling, but there are gyms at hotels in Minneapolis and Atlanta! Maybe if my walking/trainer rides go well this week, then I can try a "run" on the elliptical while I'm out-of-town. Remember, last Fall I tried it for 10 minutes and whoa... my knee was not happy! Aching, swelling, etc. Well, time has passed since then. It's time to give it another go. OK, you all heard me, right? I better hear some comments from you to see if you're checking in on me! ; ) Thanks friends and family. Glad you are here.