Spokane Snow

I built a snowman today!

Merry Christmas to All!

Hello everyone! I'm writing from cold, snowy Spokane, Washington. It's not snowing today, but since I got here on Saturday there have been a few snow flurries. My Mom has been here for two weeks, helping Meg and David adjust to parenthood. My Dad got here last week so we are all here now in a cozy house braving colder weather than we are used to in California. Spokane is a pretty town and Meg and David have had friends visit to meet Morgan and say Merry Christmas.

In our family, this holiday season is revolving around baby Morgan. She's super cute, although still in the mostly sleeping and eating baby stage. She is more alert every day. I've attached a few pictures for you to see how big she's getting, even after a few weeks! Morgan is going to be 3 weeks old tomorrow. She seems to like the baby papasan Aunt Ali gave to her. : )

I hope this day finds you and your loved ones happy and healthy. Here's to a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Burned Out

Hi there! Happy, happy, jolly, jolly time! Well... I haven't been quite feeling that way. I'm trying and I promise I will be more in the holiday spirit soon. I think there are a lot of reasons why I'm feeling this way, but this morning one sticks out to me. I'm so tired! I haven't been working out more than usual, so that is not causing me to be tired. I'm getting around 7-8 hours sleep at night, so lack of sleep is not the cause. I believe I'm burned out. I love my job, I really do, but I have to be focused from 9 AM (sometimes earlier) to 6 PM straight. Rarely any time to surf the Internet or write personal emails to friends. I have maybe a half an hour to eat lunch, often at my desk. I give it my all every day and I still don't get it all done. Normally, fitting in a good run was a way to relieve stress for me, but clearly that is not an option these days. The last two weeks have been even more on-the-go with vendors taking us out for holiday dinners. I've enjoyed them, but spending time in that "on" mode for work from 8 AM to 10 PM is draining.

I woke up this morning with no desire to go to the gym, grab coffee, and barely get out of my apartment. It dawned on me that I'm simply burned out and I need a break. I need more than two days to not think about spring in-store marketing, window cling sizes, and ship dates. I'm looking forward to next Saturday when I jump on a plane to wing my way to Spokane, WA for Christmas with my family. I realize being around my newborn niece Morgan will not necessarily be restful, but at least I'll be away from my desk, computer, and phone calls.

The one good thing about the last few weeks is that I've hit the gym a few times to lift weights. It's been a long time since I've felt sore muscles! Still, I haven't been able to go much. Hopefully, once the holiday gatherings are over, I'll be able to up my workouts to 3-4 times a week.

Baby Morgan

I am thrilled to say, I've become an Aunt! My sister Meg and her husband David are the proud new parents of a healthy baby girl.

Morgan Ann-Marie Allendorf
Born December 5, 11:48 PM
7 pounds, 10 ounces - 20 inches

I'm looking forward to spending Christmas with Meg, David, Morgan and my parents (first time grandparents!) in Spokane, WA.

Isn't she a cutie?

Happy Birthday to Me

OK, I'm a day late. My birthday was yesterday! It was a nice day. I got my hair cut... did some Christmas shopping... then had a nice dinner with my parents. Thanks for the creme brulee Mom and Dad! It's my favorite dessert. Those of you who are not familiar with it, creme brulee is like custard, but with a burnt sugar topping. So yummy. My Mom cracked the topping to put one little candle in it to sing Happy Birthday to me. I think one candle is plenty from here on out! : )

Crying My Eyes Out

Yup, the blog got the time right. It's after midnight and I'm still awake. I've been crying my eyes out for the last hour. I'm so sad. I wish I were strong enough to not let my knee woes bother me so much, but I'm not. What set off the tears tonight was that my knee feels like it's raw and burning inside. It literally feels warm to the touch more than my other knee. In my opinion, my workout today shouldn't have triggered this much pain. I went to the gym near work at lunchtime and warmed up for 10 minutes on the recumbent bike. Then, I walked over to the weight machines and lifted only weights for my arms and shoulders. I did some sit-ups and stretches after that and I was done. I don't understand. It doesn't make sense that back in September and early October I was on my bike trainer at least every other day building up time slowly to 24 minutes before my knee bothered me. Now, I swam two days ago, then cycled 10 minutes today and my knee hurts. It seems like it's getting worse, not better. I struggle so much to have some semblance of a healthy life these days. I rest for a bit and get myself all positive and hopeful, then I cautiously begin exercising and am defeated all over again. Why do I deserve this?

One thing I will admit is that lately I haven't been good about my PT exercises. I know, I know... I got bored with them. They were the same thing every time. Ugh. C'mon though... those exercises could not have been what was holding me together. I'm not that frail! This is ridiculous. Shouldn't my knee be healing gradually simply due to time passing? It will be 5 months since my surgery next week. I have an appointment at PSM on Thursday. I have a feeling Susan will have no idea what to tell me anymore. She already said I'm her first patient who had some of their fat pad removed. She's been a PT for at least 10 years, so even though the procedure is not very common, I'm surprised she has no experience with it.

I'm going to be 37 years old on Saturday, but tonight I feel like a child who is sick and just wants her Mommy to say, "It's all going to be OK, you'll feel better soon."

Happy Thanksgiving Weekend!

I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving weekend. Mine consisted of yummy turkey, all the trimmings, and great company. I saw a few movies, did a little shopping, and tried to fit in some down time. I realized I've been veering away from writing about my knee lately since I'm still frustrated from the elliptical trainer setback. On Thanksgiving Day I hoped on my trainer for the first time in weeks and pedaled away for 10 minutes. Not much, but it's a start. On Saturday I headed to the Bay Club for a swim. They have two indoor pools I swim in from time to time. Dang... they sure chlorinate those pools! I feel like it's my perfume for a day afterward. It's probably not good for my knee, but I also sat in the sauna for 15 minutes after my 35 minute swim. I love it.

So, I decided this week that I need to get back to weights. I was holding off a bit, thinking my knee would heal faster from the surgery and I would be able try the old routine I used to do years ago before I started training for races. It was a good all-around weight machine circuit for the upper and lower body. Now I realize, if I can't run or do heavy weights affecting my knee, I may as well get my upper body toned up! What do you think? Muscle is muscle, right? Hopefully, the lower body weights will follow later.

My Style

Ahh... now this is more like it! I stayed at The Ambrose Hotel in Santa Monica last night. This is much more my style. Soothing, cozy surroundings, not mirrors. If you get to L.A. anytime soon, check this place out. It even has "Green Initiatives."

http://www.ambrosehotel.com/index.html

Sniff... Cough...

I'm such a slacker! I haven't written a thing in over 2 weeks. As for my knee, I haven't had much to write about other than I'm trying to shift my focus away from it. I'm not sure if this is the best plan, but between work travels and coming down with a cold, I haven't done much exercise or physical therapy. Not good. At the same time, I'm tired of worrying about my knee and whether it's ever going to get better. On the positive side, my knee has not been bothering me at all. It's still sort of swollen, as usual, but it's not aching. Still, I haven't been testing it in any way, other than wearing heals once in a while. ; ) Now that I'm finally getting over my cold (and feel like I won't drown in a pool) I need to get back to swimming soon!

Last week I went to L.A. to print Holiday Week 1 window clings for Old Navy. Picture this. I fly to L.A., delayed flight, get to my hotel in Santa Monica around 10:30 PM. I had a bad cold, very congested and walk into my hotel The Viceroy. It's interior is a modern, slightly quirky design and the lobby was dark. First, they had me sit in a big green chair at the reception desk to check in. OK, not at a bank... Then, I headed upstairs to my room. Whoaaaa. I felt like I was in some kind of Alice in Wonderland inspired room. Not quite so "mad hatter," but full of mirrors and cabinets. I took this photo with my phone. I'm sure my cold made it seem more freaky than it really was! Did I sleep? Uh, no, of course not. By the time I got home Thursday night and got through Friday, I slept half the weekend. Wow, I was tired.

One Step Back

Sigh. Yes, another step back. This time, I hope it's just one, not two. It turns out my knee was not happy with the elliptical trainer. The first time I tried it, a week ago Saturday, it was fine. The second time, I completed 10 minutes on the elliptical and 5 on the stationary bike. The next day my knee was achy and a little more swollen than usual. I had a PT appointment with Susan that evening and she told me maybe I wasn't ready for the elliptical trainer. She suggested I stick with cycling and swimming, or at least try backing off the elliptical time to 8 minutes, instead of 10. I've just taken it easy and iced since Thursday, but I hope to get back to the gym a few times this week. It's disappointing, but makes it clear I was doing more than my knee could handle. I'm still looking for that "sweet spot" of time where I don't trigger a flare up. I'm told once I find that spot, I will be able to eventually increase my time on the bike and/or elliptical trainer slowly. Baby steps at first, then larger increments later.

Otherwise, I've been working hard and traveling. It was Minnesota this week. One funny story from last week happened when I was sitting in Caribou Coffee in Minneapolis waiting for my print sales rep to show up. Dave arrived and as I was packing up my computer, I looked across from where we were sitting into the childrens play area in the shop.

I looked back at Dave and said, "Is it me or is there something wrong with this?" I took a photo of what I was looking at with my camera phone. So, where do you think the play hunter set is for the kiddies? To have stuffed animal heads mounted on the wall, there must be one somewhere! From what I understand, the nightmares don't last long... only in Minnesota. ; )

Long Time

Wow, it's been a long time since I have written in my blog! Life in general has been non-stop the last few weeks. I'm going to try to keep it short, but sweet, since I'm packing for yet another business trip and need to catch a 6:30 AM flight to Minneapolis, MN tomorrow morning.

The basics: Week before last was a trip to the Old Navy Leadership Conference in Las Vegas, NV. We got a little Caesars Palace pool time before the conference started at 6 PM Oct 10. Old Navy went all out for the conference and even put on a New York style fashion show. It was a good time for all.

The week after Las Vegas was a two-day trip to Los Angeles, then I met with my friend Jill Thursday last night for dinner. It was great to catch up with her! We trained for several triathlons together 2005-06 and I miss her. She is training for the New York City Marathon so I met her at Kezar Stadium after the PacWest track workout. It was fun to see everyone. So many people said, "How are you? We hope you can run with us soon." I hope so too. To update you on my knee, my physical therapist Susan suggested that I move on to the elliptical trainer. I was SO excited! Yesterday morning I went to the gym and hoped on for 10 minutes. Susan said 10 minutes only then to wait for 24 hours to see how my knee feels. I'm a little disappointed that it feels a little achy today, but I'm told that it to be expected. Susan said to try the elliptical a few times before I see her on Thursday. One down... we'll see the next time goes. Patience.

Meg and her husband David were in town for a friend's wedding and their baby shower this week. It was great to see them. Meg is less than two months away from her due date on December 16. Yeah! The next time I see her, she and David will have a sweet little baby girl.

Love My New Gym

I LOOOVE my new gym at UCSF - Mission Bay Bakar Fitness Center. I don't know how often I'll be able to attend since I'm on what they call an "Express Membership". The facility is at capacity, so I am only able to workout there from 5:30 AM to 3:00 PM Monday through Friday. Still, I swam last Thursday in the rooftop pool and it is a DREAM! I shared a lane at the beginning of my swim with a gentleman swimming with a snorkel. After my warm up I had the lane to myself and it was wonderful. A wide open lane under the open sky. Ahhhhh (Picture the sun shining with rays stretching down from the clouds). Ok, that is a slightly dramatic visual, but that's how I felt. I realize the indoor pools were really bringing me down. Too enclosed. I hope to somehow swim at least twice a week. With my upcoming work travels, I'm not so sure. The waiting list to full membership at Bakar will be around 3 months. Then, I will be able to go after work and on weekends. It will be here before I know it. : )

Day of Rest

Happy Wednesday! It's mid-week and I am already beat. I'm not sure why exactly. I've noticed ever since I had to stop training, my sleeping patterns are different. I don't feel like I sleep nearly as deep or as soundly as I used to. I wake up in the morning feeling sluggish and pushing snooze several (yes, several) times before I finally drag myself out of bed. I distinctly remember my high school biology teacher, Mr. RInehart, telling us he knew when he was in really good shape. He said when he woke up in the morning, he was wide awake immediately. Good sleep, ready to go. Mr. Rinehart played football for the Los Angeles Rams, so I figured he had a good take on what "in shape" meant. So, when I wake up in the morning and all I want to do is go back to sleep, I worry about my health a little. When I was in my best shape while training for a half-ironman, it was a lot of work. Thing is, I don't recall being exhausted believe it or not. Sometimes mentally, but not physically. Well... maybe after 6 mos of training, but not the "not wanting to get out of bed" type of tired. I can't wait to get back into shape! I know it will be a long time before I'm in any kind of training shape again, but my goal is for the feel-comfortable-in-my own-skin type of shape. I joined the fitness center at UCSF - Mission Bay, near my work. They have two, yes TWO pools! An indoor and rooftop (yeah, outdoors) pool. I am hoping I can start to break up my work day with a visit to the gym at least a few times a week.

So, today I was just tired. I was trying all day to get myself prepared to see my friends Lisa and Seth and their new baby Laurel after work. I ended up having late work meetings and just felt mentally tired. I know, I flaked. I'm sorry Lis! Don't worry, it wasn't just work. I still love my job. I simply had one of those days that was meeting after meeting and I needed some down time tonight. I'm REALLY hoping to see the Socolows this weekend.

It's been a busy week already. Yesterday, I had the typical day at work, then went right to physical therapy and finally to my church Community Group (CG = small bible study) at 7:30 PM. It was great, but I didn't get home until 10:20 PM. I saw Susan, my PT. I hadn't seen her for a few weeks since I was not able to fit into her schedule. Susan said she thought the swelling had subsided in my knee since she had last seen me. Great! Although I haven't been doing anything to really *test* it lately. I told my CG about my knee injury and surgery. I mentioned how a few years ago I was more or less obsessed with training for races. I've recognized that maybe there was a reason my knee injury happened and interestingly enough -- needed to happen to me. Balance is important in life. The leader of our CG Katie looked up towards the ceiling and said, "God, she "get's it," she knows she needs to balance her life better. Now, heal her knee!" Well put. Katie made me smile.

Welcome to Fall!

Hello! How is everyone this weekend? Good, I hope. I'm doing well this rainy weekend in San Francisco. My knee is feeling better and I'm still learning more about it as it heals. I need to keep it moving and stretched out to allow it to progress and heal. The less I do, the more stiff and uncomfortable my knee can become. Jennifer from Presidio Sport & Medicine said I can get back on my trainer. I need to start only spinning 10 minutes and increase from there. Granny gear, low cadence. Got it. Jennifer also mentioned it will take 6 months to a year to fully heal from the surgery. Sigh. Alright. I've started asking, "When can I run?" Yes, there is a whiny tone in my voice each time I ask. My physical therapists just smile and don't answer that question. Fine, I'll be patient. The first time I finally lace up my sneakers and go for a run, I will probably run with tears streaming down my face. I'll be so happy. : )

Long Week

This was a REALLY long week. I can't believe the weekend is almost over and it's almost time to start yet another full week. Can we add some more long weekends to those national holidays? Please? I have to admit, I was really bad about my physical therapy this week. I went to my PT appointment last Monday and haven't done one of my exercises since. I guess I needed a break. Tomorrow, I'm going to try to hit the pool again. My knee has been feeling alright, pretty much the usual bit of swelling and an ache or two. I'm just waiting for the moment my knee seems like it's actually progressing towards healing. These days it seems to be in the middle. It's past the acute phase after the surgery, but it hasn't progressed to being better than it was before I had the surgery. Kind of a "plateau" of sorts.

Other than the usual knee stuff, I don't have much exciting news to report personally. I went to Minneapolis again this week for work. It was a busy two days of printing and following up on a special window cling request at the Mall of America Old Navy store. Also, I was finally able to have dinner with my cousin Wendy who lives in Minneapolis with her husband Bill. My press check schedules do not always allow for normal dinner times, but I was glad to be able to meet Wendy for a wonderful meal at a restaurant close to her home. It was great to catch up with her.

Back to the Pool

I've been relegated to swimming for a while. Swimming is one of those workouts I don't look forward to. At the same time, once I am finally in the water, I am really glad to be there. Swimming is one of the best exercises you can do. It improves your cardio and is high on the scale of resistance training. Pulling yourself through the water creates resistance. Good for the heart and muscle/bone.

My PT, Susan, said I should step back to swimming for a few weeks before I try cycling again. OK... fine. She said to mostly swim using the pull buoy (little foam thing you place between your legs so your legs float and don't kick) and no kickboard. She wants me swimming to get my heart rate up, but not doing too much with my knees. I'm going to try to drop in on lap swim at the Presidio YMCA today. Hopefully, I won't have to share a lane with someone that is frustrated with my slow workout. I'll stay in the "slow swim" lane if they have one.

In Other News

I'm trying to take it easy today. Other than grocery shopping, I'm laying low at home. I'm icing my knee and trying to stay off my feet. It's a good time to watch college football and do some reading. I also realized that last week I didn't post a photo with some great news! My friends Lisa and Seth welcomed their little girl Laurel into the world on August 24, 2007. Here is a photo of the happy family. Congratulations!

More Steps Back

My knee has not improved. I'm so sad, I can't even say. It seems as if the 19 months of waiting, rest, the surgery... has all been undone. My knee feels achy and swollen with some burning pain, just like before my surgery. I'm so disappointed this is happening and don't know what to do about it. I don't believe there is anything else Dr. Anderson can do for me. She scoped my knee, so we know what is inside. Everything Dr. A saw that could have been causing my problem, she removed. I can't imagine where this discomfort and swelling is coming from and what exactly I did to cause it. I've been following my physical therapists instructions and not doing any more than she has recommended. Once I have rested a bit, maybe I should go back to swimming only or maybe just less time on the trainer. It's pathetic how little I do anymore and I am incredibly out of shape. I wanted so badly for this to change.

There are things in my life that I am grateful for, of course. I continue to love my job at Old Navy. I suppose there is some grace in the fact that it keeps me busy and my mind somewhat off of the fact I cannot train for races or even enjoy a weekend bike ride. I found a wonderful church to attend in the city and am starting to make friends there. I look forward to seeing them on Sundays and for various activities. At the same time, I miss my training friends immensely. I miss PacWest and everyone is moving on without me. Hey, they have to, and I have to let them go. I still don't think they understand why I had to pull away from them. They all thought I would be better in a few months and be back running, just like everyone else with injuries. I wasn't, not by a long shot. Maybe they understand now, I don't know. I was a Captain on the PacWest run team and was very active on the triathlon team. I really enjoyed attending as many workouts as possible each week. My biggest annoyance used to be having to take my turn handling the Saturday water stop and not being able to run that morning. Wow, that sounds like a dream right now. Missing one workout every month or two? I only wish.

As I've said before, I know there are worse things in life. I just watched a TV show about a woman living with incurable cancer. I can hardly imagine how hard that would be. Still, we are all allowed our own pity parties from time to time. A good cry sometimes does a world of good. Other than that, all I can do right now is rest, ice, and say a little prayer for healing.

One Step Forward...

...two steps back. Wait. Is that the the right phrase? I'm not sure, but it's what I feel like right now. After my 25 minute trainer ride yesterday morning, my knee was swollen all day. I woke up this morning and it's not better. I'm so frustrated! My knee has been swollen for almost 19 months! The surgery was supposed to remove the inflammation and my knee is not supposed to ache this way. I noticed it's not the throbbing ache it used to be, but it's swollen and a little sore nevertheless. : ( I rode my bike on the trainer at a fairly high cadence yesterday (around 90) so maybe that had something to do with it. I've ridden it that fast before, but not for 25 minutes. I'm going to rest today and try a ride tomorrow morning. I'll spin at an easier cadence and see how it feels. I need the cardio SO badly. It's frustrating to realize my progress may be stalling. Is my knee going to be sensitive and swollen forever??? Ugh.

Thoughts of Running

I woke up this morning almost feeling like I could run. It's been almost 8 weeks since my "scope" and up until now the idea of running sounded too hard on my knee. Now, those thoughts are changing. I figure it must mean my knee is healing. I've stopped wearing an Ace bandage around my knee during the day because I don't feel like I need it anymore. That doesn't mean I can't "feel" my knee though. The underside of my patella seems like it is still healing. When shopping at Trader Joe's the other day, I realized squatting to look at something on a bottom shelf... ooh, not a good thing. As Susan told me, "You are going to feel this for 3-4 months." I keep reminding myself of these words.

I'm mentally getting ready for a busy few months ahead. My boss Sandy keeps warning me and I guess until I'm in it, I'm not going to fully understand how crazed it will be. It's holiday print season for Old Navy and I will be traveling quite a lot for press checks. By October it will be weekly. In a way, I guess it's good that I am not training for any particular race. I'll really only have time for the small amount of cardio I do and my physical therapy. I'm up to 24 minutes on my trainer now. Woo hoo! ; ) Baby steps...

Follow-Up with Dr. Anderson

This morning was my 6-week follow up appointment with Dr. Lesley Anderson. It's been 7 weeks since my surgery and 6 weeks since I had my stitches out. After "hello," the first thing Dr. A said to me was, "Did it help?" I told her "yes," that I thought the surgery had helped. I said I am still experiencing some swelling, but she said that is to be expected.

Dr. Anderson was unusually chatty this morning, which was nice. She told me her daughter is getting ready to apply to medical school and that she hopes to go back East for her studies. Dr. A went to school at Hershey Medical School at Penn State and feels the medical schools on the East Coast are the best places to study. While she was telling me this she was doing her usual tests on my knee. She said my range of motion is great and the popping and cracking I feel is definitely scar tissue. It will soften up in time as I get more active. Dr. A told me she was a little worried about removing some of my fat pad because sometimes it can leave scaring that ends up being worse than the problem was before surgery. I explained that my knee feels better and the "knot" of discomfort I was experiencing is gone. She seemed pleased to hear that. She showed me the photos of the inside of my knee again and told me the way my fat pad was protruding was unusual. It was tough and was sticking out at an odd angle where it was likely getting caught between the bones. She also mentioned that the fraying cartilage on the underside of my kneecap was normal. This is common in runners and with age in general and typically is not painful at all. She felt my problem was from the fat pad and everything else inside my knee looks healthy.

As further guidance, she told me to massage my incisions to break down the scar tissue inside. If the hardened tissue does not soften up, she said she could inject some cortisone and that would help. Otherwise, she said to keep going to physical therapy and following their lead. If my knee is still swelling and bothering me in a few months, she said to come in for another follow-up appointment. The last thing Dr. Anderson said was that she thinks I'm going to be fine. I'm thin and healthy so she does not see that I will have bigger knee problems in the future. I simply need to manage my training and know when I am doing too much. I left her office early this morning feeling positive and optimistic. It's a great thing!

My Own Bed

Sometimes I forget how great it is to sleep in my own bed. When I travel, the hotel pillow-top mattresses can be comfy, but they are not home. I just got back from another long weekend trip followed by a few days of work in Los Angeles. It's nice to be home.

I spent last weekend in Stevens Point, Wisconsin for my friends Kim and Aaron's wedding. See the happy couple to the left. : ) This was my first trip to America's Dairyland and I enjoyed it very much. Even on a rainy day, the wedding was beautiful and everyone was so happy to be there, joining in the celebration. On Sunday, I flew to Los Angeles for two days of press checks. I'm realizing the traveling is tough on my knee and I haven't been able to fit in as much physical therapy as I should. I have my weekly PT appointment with Susan tomorrow. I hope it's good and that she sees some progress. I'm up to 22 minutes on my trainer (stationary bike). I know that doesn't seem like much to the average cyclist, but I have to start somewhere.

I also have a follow-up appointment with Dr. Anderson at 8:00 AM tomorrow morning. It's been 7 weeks total! It went by quickly. It will be interesting to see what she has to say.

Patience

I'm at the point where I want to know when my knee will be healed. Come on people... how long do I have to wait??? I realize my moments of impatience have more to do with the past 18+ months than the last 5 and a half weeks since my surgery. I do recognize I am taking the right "baby steps" along the way. I have faithfully done my physical therapy exercises at least once a day and I am riding my bike on my trainer or a stationary bike for 15 minutes a day. Do you know how good it feels to actually break a sweat? : )

Today, I had an appointment with my physical therapist Susan. I asked, "When will I be able to run?" She said we should wait until at least 8 weeks since my surgery before we decide if it's time to run, or not. Susan said I will be outside cycling before I am able to run. Fine. One thing at at time, I understand. I was happy to hear I can up my bike trainer time gradually to 25 minutes over the next week. I also asked Susan how long it will be before my knee feels normal again, if at all. She said it will feel normal again, but to be patient. People who have resurfacing of the underside of the patella will feel some discomfort for 3-4 months. There are nerve endings in the cartilage under the knee cap that are affected by the surgery and cause some pain. As far as I can tell, it sounds like my current aches and pains are to be expected.

During my PT sessions, Susan has been doing massage on my knee on and near my incisions to work out the scar tissue. Ouch! Once she's done she passes me off to a PT assistant for exercises. A guy named Christian worked me out hard today! I especially liked balancing on on my left leg while standing on an oval-shaped squishy foam pad... while Christian threw a weighted ball at me to catch. Whoa! At least he played the game too and I got to throw the ball back at him. ; )

Weekend Travels

I'm finally back from my weekend travels and another work trip to Minneapolis, MN. I had a wonderful time at the Bottomley family reunion in Portland, Oregon. My Aunt Anne, Uncle Bruce, and my cousin Sara and her husband Chris were great hosts. We spent Saturday afternoon at Washington Park in the rose garden listening to live music. I took it easy and did not go out on any hikes because of my knee, but it was a beautiful day and it was so nice to sit and talk with everyone. It was especially nice to see my cute, pregnant sister Meg and her husband David. :)



Once my family reunion was over, I headed straight to Minneapolis, MN for work. One of the printers I work with is there and I was needed for press checks for the upcoming Fall Preview Sale. My sales reps offered to take me to see the 35W bridge that collapsed a week ago today and killed at least 8 people. More are still missing. I didn't realize how close the bridge was to downtown Minneapolis. We walked across a stone bridge with many other people, taking photos and observing the recovery progress. From our vantage point, it was hard to see the entire collapsed bridge below the dam, but it was an eerie sight. Sometimes my personal frustrations with my knee or other things in life seem so minuscule compared to what many people experienced with the bridge tragedy last week. Some families are still waiting to hear about their loved ones. Many prayers for them and all of Minneapolis.

Physical Therapy - Day 1

I learned traveling for business is not good for recovery from knee surgery. Flying and airplane seats are rough on a swollen knee. :( I also walked around a very large, concrete pressroom floor for 12 hours on Monday. OK, there was time at lunch or in the customer lounge, but I have to say I was relieved when one of the nice pressman at Imagine Print Solutions in Minneapolis, MN brought me a folding chair while I was on the last press check Monday night. Whew... it was a long day. I was very grateful to my boss Sandy, who told me not to come into the office when I landed at SFO at 1:30 PM on Tuesday. I didn't realize how much I needed to get off my feet until I got home and crashed on my couch.

Today was my first PT session. It was nice to see Susan, my physical therapist, who is also a proud graduate of Acalanes High School in Lafayette, CA. She wants me swimming, pool running, and on a stationary bike ASAP. My travel schedule over the next week is not going to allow for much of this, but I'm going to fit in as much as I can. I realized Presidio Sport & Medicine was the right place for me to go for my PT when Susan asked what my goals are for the future. I told her my short term plans are getting back to regular exercise. Then, I said my long term plans are triathlons and running races. She asked "Marathons?" I answered, "Yes." She did not laugh or give me that disapproving look I have been so accustomed to seeing over the last year and a half. After doing a bunch of strength and flexibility tests on my knee, Susan said my range of motion is excellent for this point in my recovery. Yeah! That was good to hear.

Week Three

Can you believe it's been 3 weeks since my surgery? My knee is still a little swollen, as you can see from the most recent photo, but I find it amazing how small my scars are at this point. I did not expect that at all. An added benefit, I say.

I finally start physical therapy next Wednesday when I return from a business trip. I was supposed to start PT this week, but had a hard time coordinating with Michelle, the physical therapist I saw at CPMC last year. When a business trip got scheduled the same time as my first appointment with Michelle next week, I learned the next date available with her was more than another week out. I knew I had to find someone else. I called Presidio Sport & Medicine. I had been there years ago for training seminars with my training group, PacWest Athletics. Coincidentally, I attended high school with a physical therapist, Susan, at PSM. I called and spoke to a cheery women at PSM yesterday afternoon. She asked who did my surgery and when I answered Dr. Lesley Anderson, she replied, "Good, she's the best." I was immediately set up for sessions with Susan over the next 4 weeks. Good, done. I already feel like I'm a little behind, so I'm glad to be starting soon.

Overall, my knee still feels like it is on the way to recovery. The doctor said to expect 6 -8 weeks for recovery so I'm possibly halfway there, but maybe not quite. My knee does feel better every day, although I'm starting to wonder if it will ever feel normal again. I hope so, but I'm sure I will have to be good to it from here on out. I will do my best!

Distracted

Between watching the Tour de France this past week and reading the final Harry Potter book, I have been somewhat distracted from my knee pain. More than anything, I'm feeling in limbo. My knee seems to be healing at the pace stated by my doctor so far, but I'm not yet at a point to put it to the test. My first physical therapy appointment is not until next week, so I'm in limbo. I wonder, is my knee going to heal and will I recover from this 100%? Could I always have discomfort? It's less than 3 weeks since my surgery so I suppose it's still too soon to tell.

I have to mention I am impressed by my how Dr. Anderson stitched up the three points where she scoped my knee. I've mostly seen people's scars as round spots a little smaller than the size of holes in a 3-hole punch. My incisions were left as small straight lines with a dot on each side for the one stitch to each. They are like small division symbols. If they stay this way, the scars may be hard to see at all once they fade. Nice. Photo to come...

I Must Be Tired

I was a little tired at work today, then I got home and fell asleep on my couch! The TV was still on and it was the kind of nap that knocks you out and then it's REALLY hard to wake up. I'm not sure why I was so tired, but I had a few evenings out this week. I had a great time Tuesday night with some old coworkers from Pickett Advertising, my previous employer. We met at The Wine Merchant at the Ferry Building, then ate some delicious Mexican Food at Orale! Orale! nearby. It was good to see them and catch up on everything. Last night I went over to my friend Lisa's house, who is pregnant and on bed rest. I was planning to bring her dinner and keep her company, but she already had some wonderful pasta and bean salads and veggies brought by recent visitors. We even tapped it off with homemade oatmeal chocolate chip cookies baked by her Mom! Yum. As always, it's great to spend time with Lisa and even on bed rest, she is looking fantastic!

Neither Tuesday or Wednesday were late evenings, so maybe more rest than usual is best for me for a while longer. I've noticed this week that more swelling has subsided in my knee. Normally I would consider that a good thing, but I realized the swelling was providing some cushioning overall. Now, my knee feels even more tender to the touch. Hopefully, that tenderness will go away soon as well. My range of motion is about 90% and I'm working on it with my exercises. Once I get full ROM, I will be able to start on a stationary bike. I promise, I will take it easy though. I don't think I'll be out on my road bike for a while yet. In the meantime, I'll keep living vicariously through the Tour. Go Levi!

Allez! Allez!

I received two pieces of mail from California Pacific Medical Center this week. I have to say, the first one made my heart jump. I thought, "Are they sending me a bill already?" Then, I thought the envelope size did not look like a bill statement. They turned out to be cards thanking me for choosing CMPC, one with signatures from the nurses that helped me all day. They wished me well. I felt a little badly, since in all reality my doctor chose CPMC, not me. It is where she does her Thursday surgeries. That said, I appreciate their follow-up hoping I had a good experience.

I'm spending this evening watching Stage 8 of the Tour de France. I love it! It's exciting as the competitors chase each other up and down the Alps for 100 miles one day, then get up the next day and do it all over again. I don't know how they do it! When I was in my best shape two years ago, I rode in Waves to Wine, a local bike tour raising money for the MS Society. The first day I rode 75 miles, then 57 the next. I REALLY wanted to get off my bike at the end of that second day! I couldn't imagine cycling the next day, much less day after day for 3 weeks! Well, that's what these pros train to do. They are amazing. If you haven't watched it yet, I thoroughly recommend it. If you get Versus (formerly OLN) try to watch a day or more of the tour. You'll get hooked!

One Week Down

Wow, what a good night sleep can do! I can't say I slept for 8 hours straight, but I woke up this morning feeling more rested than I had in a week. Yay. It really seemed to make a difference in my day overall as I felt much more energetic and my knee didn't tire out as much by the end of the day. Here's a photo of my knee one week down. The "+" strips of tape replaced my stitches on Monday as they were literally glued to my skin. The physician's assistant told me to let the tape strips fall off on their own. I think my knee looks pretty good, don't you? There is a little swelling, but not nearly as much as I thought there could be. My knee does not hurt when I walk, but it's somewhat tender and when I bump it (as little as humanly possible) I feel a small jolt of pain. That is certainly to be expected.

Long Day

I haven't had one good night sleep since the surgery. This is mostly because I am not comfortable sleeping with my knee elevated on a pillow, as recommended. The lack of sleep is starting to catch up with me and I'm just plain tired. I did my physical therapy exercises last night and this morning I felt like they had helped my range of motion quite a bit. I even went to work with one crutch instead of two. By the end of the work day, I was beat. I hadn't done much rushing around, but it was my first whole day back in the office. I could tell. By 4:00 PM I was tired and my knee tightened up. As much as I dislike them, I wished I had both crutches again. I was ready to be home with my leg up on a pillow with ice. That's where I am right now. Is it the weekend, yet? ; ) One day at a time...

The Full Story

Today I was back at work, even if it was for just a half day. I was pleasantly surprised to learn it would not be just me leaving early today, but the entire building! Due to the fact that Old Navy Headquarters are located near AT&T Park, our President decided the hours for our office today would be 8AM to 2PM and tomorrow will be 8AM to 1PM. This is all because of the MLB All Star Game tomorrow and related events. Excellent! I was able to go to my post-op appointment today then home to rest with no guilt and tomorrow will be the same. Wasn't it nice for everything to sync up so well? : )

I walked out of Dr. Anderson's office today so happy, I almost cried. I haven't felt that way since I got my job offer from Old Navy and before that... I can't even remember. I received more details about what Dr. A found in my knee and the procedures she performed. While most of the doctors I saw felt my problem was primarily Patella Femoral Syndrome (Runners Knee/chondromalacia), Dr. A was leaning towards Hoffa's Syndrome as well, which is an inflammation of the fat pad under the patella. I had done some research on this in the past and it seemed to fit my symptoms. Hoffa's is also an overuse injury, but can be exacerbated by even standing for long periods of time so it doesn't go away easily. I thought Hoffa's was eventually ruled out since it didn't show on my MRI (only severe cases do) and the lidocaine shot I received back in January was supposed to help shrink an inflamed fat pad. The shot didn't help so I hadn't thought about it much since. Today, I saw Dr. Anderson only for a minute in passing as I met with her physician's assistant, Debbie. She removed my sutures and gave me the full report as she was present during my surgery as well. She showed me photos of the inside my knee and I have to say they are really cool. They look nothing like I would have imagined. Here are some of the operative notes from my surgery.

PREOPERATIVE DIAGNOSIS: Persistent Hoffa's syndrome, left knee.
POSTOPERATIVE DIAGNOSIS: Persistent Hoffa's syndrome, left knee, with chondromalacia.

OPERATION PERFORMED:
1. Arthroscopic patellaplasty.
2. Partial synovectomy and removal of fat pad, left knee.

Debbie explained that when my knee was in full extension there was an impingement of the fat pad between my femur and tibia bones. There are nerves inside and this causes inflammation and pain. Dr. Anderson removed the portion of the fat pad that was catching, as well as smoothing out some rough cartilage under my patella (chondromalacia). After my MRI last Oct, Dr. A told me the chondromalacia in my knee was typical for a runner my age and didn't seem all that concerned. Even then, I plan to be more cautious in the future since I have learned this can lead to arthritis in later years.

I've been telling everyone since the pain started in my knee that it feels like there is something "stuck" inside. It was hard to explain because I couldn't see into my knee and I'm the only person that can feel it. It seemed like a knot or silver dollar sized lump somewhere in the middle of my knee. Any amount of rest would not cause it to diminish. Now, even with my knee swollen from surgery, I can tell the knot is gone. Yeah! The main reason I feel so happy is that something has been "fixed." It really was something that needed to be fixed and it was not all in my head or would go away with more rest. Again, time will tell how everything heals and what my activity level will be in the future, but I am encouraged that I will be able to get back to the things I love soon. Next steps, some physical therapy sessions and lots of R.I.C.E. I'll keep ya posted!

Back in SF

I'm back home in San Francisco tonight, getting prepared for the work day tomorrow. Am I up to it? I'm not entirely sure. How hard will it be to get around on my crutches? I know I should use them, but I have a feeling I'll want to hobble without them quickly back and forth to the printer or to talk to people who's desks are near mine. I'll have to remember to take it easy though and ease off as much as I can. My Mom and Dad drove me back to the city tonight and I thought, "Can't I stay with them longer and get more rest and delicious meals?" : ) I know, I know... back to the real world. If I must.

I got home to three messages on my answering machine. I guess I should have given my doctor my cell phone number. Oops... Dr. Anderson left me a message on Friday checking in to see how I was doing and to remind me to start my exercises. I appreciated her follow-up. A nurse from the hospital, CPMC, called as well to check on me. Very nice. The last message was Dr. Anderson's office calling to adjust my post-op appointment tomorrow from 1:45 PM to 11:15 AM. Unfortunately, I don't think I can change that due to morning meetings at work, but I'll call early tomorrow to figure something out. I am anxious to get my stitches out and make sure everything is healing alright. Here's a photo of my knee sans the layers of bandages. There is one arthroscopy suture per bandaid (3). I'm surprised my knee is not more swollen, but it does feel tight and achy. I'm sure how my knee feels in the future will depend a good deal on how treat it right now, while recovering. I intend to continue the TLC on my own. Time for some ice, then off to sleep. Good night!

Already Sunday

Is it already Sunday? The last few days have gone by quickly. Lots of TLC from Mom and Dad. : ) I woke up this morning and felt just about ready to ditch my crutches. I learned how slowly I move on crutches when I went to a movie yesterday. It was a little awkward and frustrating. Once I had been up and around for about an hour this morning, I thought twice. The rule for getting off of the crutches is, "No swelling, no limping." My knee does not pass either of those stipulations yet, although it feels much better than I thought it would at this point. My knee does not hurt when I walk on it with full weight. What I need to work on now is increasing my strength and range of motion by adding in the physical therapy exercises on the list from my doctor. One step at a time.

I have to say, it's been so nice to simply take it easy since my surgery. I haven't had much to do in terms of being anywhere at a given time and that is nice. Other than seeing the movie (It was "Evening," and quite good. I recommend it), I've just been reading or resting. Naps are good, very good. : ) I read a great article in the August issue of Runner's World Magazine. Very timely for me, I thought. It's called "A Healing Head" and is about staying positive when an injury sets you back. The article quotes several avid runners, including some pros. It said one of the pros, Kara Goucher, spent more time in doctor's offices from 2001 to 2005 than on the roads. The had a series of injuries, but a little rephrasing to her thinking really helped her through it. "I had to realize that I'm not just a runner," Kara says, "I am a person who loves to run." I thought, while I am not a pro, I certainly wound my identity around running ever since I moved to SF and joined my run/tri team, PacWest. It's not always easy to find something you are good at and once I did, I grabbed onto it and held tight! I've needed to remind myself over the past year or so, there is much more to me than training and races. Even though it's been hard, in a way I'm glad I've had the chance to step back and recognize that. I found a great new job at Old Navy and I've come to really appreciate San Francisco and spend more time with my friends and family nearby. As much as I want to get on my bike and ride up through Marin, or run in the hills of the Presidio, I'll take my time getting back to it. Both for the health of my knee and to keep some balance in my life. No more "learning the hard way." Been there, done that.

Nap Time

I'm stuffed! I just ate a wonderful brunch consisting of a vegetable omlette (all from my parents garden), fruit, and toast. Yum. Of course, I never eat this well at home in SF. ; ) Overall, I'm feeling pretty good today. I'm not sleeping that well at night since it's hard to keep my knee elevated and be comfortable at the same time. Other than that, I'm happy with how my knee looks and feels after the scope. I took my bandages off yesterday afternoon. There were 5 layers wrapped up very tight! I'm sure that is the "C" part of R.I.C.E. Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation. My knee looked only slightly swollen and there was a stitch on each of the three little incisions. Two below my kneecap and one on the top left side. Everything seems healthy so far. My knee is a little achy and a tender, but I'm sure the pain meds are helping too. I'm taking the minimum amount, as encouraged by the nurses at the hospital.

Yesterday afternoon and evening I continued to take it easy. I made sure I completed the gentle ROM (range of motion) movements and quad exercises instructed by my doctor. I can't bend my knee past 90 degrees yet, but I am supposed to add in more excersizes that will increase the ROM over the next few days. It's important to get my knee moving as much as possible. I've been feeling like I'm not completely dependent on the crutches, as it does not hurt to put some weight on my leg, but I am still limping. I figure it's best not to over do it, so I'm still hobbling around with at least one crutch. Crutches slow me down so much! It takes 3x as long to get anywhere and it's hard to carry anything with me. Oh well, patience...

My friend Tiffany is picking me up this afternoon and taking me to a movie for a change of scenery. I'm looking forward to that as it will be nice to get out of the house for a few hours. Still, I'm going to try not to do too much today. I'm sleepy right now... yawn. Lots of food and lack of sleep last night = time for a nap.

I'm OK!

It's after Noon at my parent's house in Lafayette, CA and I'm doing just fine. My left leg is covered from foot to thigh with layers of bandages around my knee that I was instructed to remove after 24 hours. Yesterday was a long day, but everything seemed to go quite well.

My Mom and Dad (Mom's golf game was canceled due to the hot weather) both picked me up at my apartment and drove me to Cal Pacific Medical Center. I got checked in and was taken to a pre-op room to go through some tests and questions from a few nurses and medical aides. A gentleman came in to bring me crutches. The form I signed off on stated they cost me $60.00. Did you know a walker runs about $120? Let's hope I won't need one of those. ;) I even got lessons on the crutches as to how to navigate stairs. Very good to know, as this was my first time on crutches. After that I was asked to change into the lovely hospital gown (opens from back) and put a stocking on the leg that was NOT to be operated on. Very important. A nurse came in to give me an IV of saline to keep me hydrated. This nurse was great and even showed me her own knee scope scars. She's a runner too. Once she left, my parents and I sat for some time just chatting and waiting.

Around 11:40 AM someone came in to take me off to the OR. He sat me down in a small waiting room where another nurse came in to "interview" me. I realized the hospital has a lot of checks to make sure they have the right patient and what procedure that person was about to receive. They were constantly checking my hospital bracelet to a card they had with my records and asking me what procedure I was about to undergo. My charts stated, Operative Arthroscopy, Partial Synovectomy, Left Knee. It was good they were being so thorough and made me feel pretty safe in that respect. Next, Dr. Anderson came in and said hello. She was her usual fairly non-emotional self, but she did reach over to touch my hand in reassurance at one point. She took out a pen and signed her initials on my left knee and headed out of the room. The anesthesiologist came in to tell me a few things and left too. I just sat there. I didn't feel like reading the old People or US magazines lying around. My head was spinning more or less not believing I was about to have my knee operated on.

At last, one of the nurses came to get me and walked me into the OR. It was sterile and ugly. I have to say, even without my contact lenses, I could tell it was very utilitarian, not meant for anything other than medical equipment. I got situated on the table as they told me to put my head here and leg there. The anesthesiologist gave me a few drugs that make me woozy. I looked around the room and counted him, Dr. A, a few nurses, and someone else. Why did they need so many people? And how much is each person costing me? Ha. I was asked to breathe in an oxygen mask as I made a silent prayer. I woke up an hour later in the recovery room.

The recovery room was big with many spots for beds to be wheeled in and out. The nurse there put a warm blanket on me which was cozy. I was worried about feeling nauseous, but felt fine so far. I tried to doze off again. It was then that another woman was brought in next to me. I learned she was a nun named Sister Catherine. Bless her, but Sister Catherine started to snore... loudly. Ugh. No more sleeping for me.

After a half an hour or so they wheeled me into another post-op room I had to myself. My Mom and Dad came in to join me and told me the report they got from Dr. Anderson. She told them she found inflamed tissue under my kneecap that she removed and there was also some rough surface under the bone she smoothed out. She mentioned something to my parents about "Young people doing too much and being hard on their bodies." I have to say, I was a little disappointed that there didn't seem to be any broken cartilage or something like that floating around in my knee. Hard to believe just some inflamed tissue has caused me all this pain, but it did support he point Dr. Allen from UCSF made that sometimes an inflammation will not go away on it's own until it is removed. My parents and I waited in that post-op room for some time as the nurse monitored me and let me drink some water and juice. Still no nausea, yeah! Dr. Anderson stopped by and gave me the report directly, which I appreciated. She did say my joints looked good and there weren't any tears. I'm grateful about that, as those problems are harder to recover from. I said, "Well, I hope this helps me." Dr. A replied in a sincere tone of voice, "I am very hopeful it will help you too." She seemed very positive about it and I figure she should know from experience with many patients over the years. After that I started to get a little bored and called my sister from my cell phone. I only got in a few words that I was OK, then the nurse came in to take out my IV.

Around 3:30 PM I could finally leave the hospital. I have to say everyone at CPMC was very nice to me, especially the nurses. Each one was so detail oriented and caring at the same time. Outside of the nurses, I decided that I'm not a big fan of hospitals. I was ready to go home. Once I got to my parents house they embarked on a lot of TLC. My Dad offered me his recliner for the next few days as it puts me in a good elevated knee position. My appetite was good, too good if you ask me. ;) I pretty much ate everything Mom and Dad put in front of me. I crutched myself off to bed around 10PM.

I woke up this morning feeling surprisingly well. I do feel some shoots of pain here and there, but I'm still bandaged up. I've been instructed to keep taking my prescription anti-inflammatory medication and Vicodin. They told me at the hospital, "Don't be a hero, take your pain meds." They explained that if I take them my recovery will be a lot faster and smoother. Good to know. Speaking of, it's about time to take those meds and almost time to remove my bandages. I'm supposed to start my range of motion and quadriceps exercises today. I'm hoping the pain does not get worse, but time will tell. So far, so good!

The Big Day

Gulp. My Dad is picking me up in 10 minutes to head to the hospital. I'm hoping it will be an easy procedure and no big deal overall. I'm a little nervous about being "put under." I mentioned it to a coworker earlier this week and he said, "That's the best part!" Ha. If all goes along schedule I should be back at my parents in Lafayette by 4:00 PM. Whether I feel like doing anything more than crashing on the couch, I don't know. A little TLC will be nice. Thanks Mom and Dad!

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!

Happy Independence Day! I hope everyone is having a wonderful time at BBQ's and fireworks displays tonight. This is always a wonderful time of year. As for me, I didn't wake up this morning expecting to start my own blog. Not at all. I happened to receive a link to a friend's blog and got to thinking. I've enjoyed keeping a journal over the years. There have been times I write often and other times the pages stay blank for months at a time. Today, I decided a blog would be an excellent time for me to detail my road to recovery and other events in life I choose to share with family and friends.

Tomorrow is a HUGE day for me. After one and a half years of struggling with an injury to my left knee, I'm having surgery. It all started while I was training for the Boston Marathon in February 2006. To give you a little background, I have not been a life-long runner. I was one of those people that headed out the door for a jog from time to time, never really keeping track of my milage or speed. That all changed in 2003 when I moved to San Francisco and joined a running program on a whim. I thought it would be a great way to meet people. It was, and I was hooked quickly. In 2004 I ran two marathons, among shorter races. Then, in 2005 I embarked on triathlon. I was coerced to purchase a road bike and off I went, swimming, cycling, and running. I competed in a few Olympic distance triathlons and one Half Ironman that year. They were tough, but I had a great time. My life revolved around training and my teammates. I'm not an elite athlete by any stretch of the imagination, but I enjoyed some PR's (personal records) and was thrilled to qualify for the Boston Marathon. It was a big deal to me.

5 weeks before Boston, the pain in my left knee began. It started somewhere under my kneecap, in the middle on my knee, and radiated out from there. I had never experienced pain like that and realized soon, it was not going to go away like other aches and pains I felt in the past. I was literally heartbroken. I muddled my way through the next 5 weeks with the help of a chiropractor friend and physical therapy. As you can tell from the photo, I finished the marathon! In hindsight, remembering the excruciating pain, maybe it was not such a good idea, but I knew myself well. If it were any other race, I would have let it go, but it was Boston. From the moment I learned I was a decent runner, I wanted to qualify and run that marathon. It meant so much to me. Once my knee pain began, I was afraid I would never be able to qualify again and this could be my only chance. I finished in 4:10:54. It was slow and painful, but I got my medal.

That was the last race I completed. Ever since I've been on a course of trial and error and sometimes complete sedentary rest. The last thing I wanted was surgery. A year ago my coaches said I had enough recovery time and encouraged me to get out and try to run again. Each workout, even swimming, would result in aches and swelling in my knee. It was so disappointing. The multiple doctors I saw claimed it was probably Patella Femoral Syndrome (Runners Knee) and many of these doctors were condescending and rude. Words of, "You may never run a marathon again" were uttered or they would mention, "Running and triathlons are hard on your body." This, with gleam of you've-been-very-bad in their eyes. I had X-rays, another round of physical therapy, and finally an MRI last October. Even that showed I had the "healthy knee of a 35-year-old runner." This meant there was some wear and tear, but nothing to prove immediate surgery was needed. I went back to swimming, a little yoga, and mostly rest. January rolled around and I tried a lidocaine shot suggested by my chosen doctor, Dr. Lesley J. Anderson, a local orthopedic surgeon (I felt she cared a little more than the others about my situation). The shot did not help and she said I had two choices. 1) I could live with the discomfort or 2) She could take a more invasive step and scope the inside of my knee. She claimed MRI's can miss things. I decided to give it some more time and got another opinion. Dr. Christina Allen at USCF actually agreed with the scope. She claimed sometimes when an inflammation occurs, it will not go away until a surgeon goes in to remove it. On the side of caution, she suggested more physical therapy. At that time a training colleague suggested MAT (Muscle Activation Techniques) therapy and I gave that a try. I thought it was a great new type of therapy (seriously, I highly recommend it), but after 8 sessions I realized it was not working for me. In early May, I decided I was not willing to live with my knee discomfort and scheduled a knee scope with Dr. Anderson for July 5, 2007. I was happy to learn my coaches, family, and friends were supportive of my decision. It had been long enough and with all the rest I've given it, my knee should have healed by now. Maybe it just needs a little help.

My hope is that Dr. Anderson will find something she can fix. Something to at least get me back to normal exercise, then hopefully some training in time. There are still so many races I want to do! These days, I am not even able to workout at the gym like the average person. A 40 minute swim will result in some aches and swelling. While I sneak out from time to time for a short run on Crissy Field, my knee cannot really handle it. It takes a few days to recover after my secret jogs. If I am eventually able to get back to training and races, I will be much smarter about it this time. When the pain started, I was running, cycling, swimming, and doing BootCamp twice a week. Sometimes two workouts a day! I learned the hard way that this was too much for my body. More rest and recovery between workouts will be required in the future. I realize I may have to deal with "bad knees" for the rest of my life. First, the surgery. I will know MUCH more tomorrow afternoon at California Pacific Medical Center when Dr. A tells me what she found.

Thanks for reading my very long posting! I promise my posts in the future to be much shorter and to the point. I simply needed to get you caught up on this 4th of July, 2007. Happy red, white, and blue to all!