On a Break

I'm now "on a break" from physical therapy. Last night I headed to my usual every-other week appointment with Alex, my PT. I knew I was going to tell her I couldn't handle more challenging exercises, my knee just wasn't any different than the last time I saw her. I've still been experiencing a sharp pain in the front my knee under my kneecap. It really bothers me that when I sit on the floor and try to lift my left leg while keeping it straight, pain shoots through my knee. I usually have to bend my knee a little to be able to lift it. That sharp pain seems to be the main thing that keeps me from progressing further in my recovery. Alex seems to think the problem is irritated tissue and eventually it will heal. The really frustrating thing is that I remember I could lift my leg straight up, without pain, shortly after my surgery. Alex gave me an exercise early on where I strapped a 5 lb weight above my knee and held my leg up for short counts and did repetitions. There was that one Saturday in March where I did too much walking and soon after I couldn't do that exercise anymore without pain. Dr. Dye said the weight was too heavy for me and criticized the physical therapy. Alex doesn't think the weight or the walking should have irritated my knee that much for it to still be this bothering to me three months later. It's a mystery. I'm starting to wonder if a new injury resulted from that time soon after surgery. I know the healing time from a synovectomy is supposed to be long, but the sharp pain makes me wonder if my knee is ever going to heal from this 2nd surgery.

So, Alex said at this point she can't help me any more. She felt really bad about it, but she admitted how much she struggles to find exercises that work for me. This wasn't a surprise to me. I can tell she just wracks her brain each time I see her to figure out something that won't irritate my knee and somehow is able to strengthen certain muscles surrounding my knee. I have mixed feelings about the PT "break." Part of me expected it and I am almost relieved. I was so stressed about the fact I could only do my exercises maybe only every other day since my knee seemed so sensitive that I felt guilty all the time. Alex said maybe I just need to take a break, keep doing the exercises that are working for my knee and contact her in a month or two when my knee feels better. I hope this is exactly what happens. The other part of me is worried that there is something wrong since Alex seems at such a loss. Clearly, she hasn't worked with any other patients like me.

I have a follow-up appointment with Dr. Dye in a week and I'm going to be very clear about my concerns. It will be interesting to find out if he is supportive and helpful, or if he takes the surgeon route of "It's not my fault, your knee just won't heal itself."